I can’t believe, and I don’t know why, THIS ISSUE is consuming so many of my thoughts these last 2 days. I didn’t enter HOF, I will never enter HOF, I don’t know anybody who entered HOF…And yet I can’t get this whole fiasco off my mind. Honestly, I’ve never paid much attention to these magazine contests except to enjoy the special issues they generate where I get to see the Cream of the Crop, which just gets more and more amazing every year. Like, “graphic artist” amazing, like “how’d they do that?” amazing. This year, I got caught up in the SOY (Creating Keepsakes Scrapbooker of the Year) madness because I frequent (about every 5 seconds) the CK Message Board. One of the more well-known ladies over there (NoelJoy aka Noel Culbertson) made the Top 10, as did some other of my fave Gallery Goddesses. So, between the anticipation for Memory Trends and Las Vegas and The Announcement, I got caught up in the SOY frenzy. I was really impressed with the caliber of not only scrapbookers, but PEOPLE, that were chosen for the top 10. They all were just so classy and fun and appreciative and humble; it was a pleasure to watch it all from the sidelines. It’s easy to put yourself in the place of someone who has poured their heart and soul into their entry, and the waitiing, and the dreaming “what if??”…and the inevitable disappointing crash when it’s not you. So, yeah, I totally get it. I get the depth of the emotion and commitment and disappointment this HOF mess has unsurfaced. I think maybe it’s hitting uninvolved ME so hard because I’ve always had such a sense of right and wrong, of fair and unfair, of good and bad, of black and white. There is not as much “grey” for me as for most people. You either did or you didn’t. It’s either Diet Pepsi or Diet Coke. You’re either pregnant or your not. No grey.
And that’s why I”m struggling. Every time I’m fired up, decision made, ready to unleash on this keyboard my “feelings” on this event, I stop. I think, “But what about this?” and “Was it on purpose?” and “Everyone makes mistakes” and “How do you fix something gone so horribly wrong?” and “How would I feel if my magazine and my JOB were on the line?” and “How would I feel if I had entered HOF?”.
And the frustrating thing is I’m not finding the black and white, just a bunch of muddy, drippy, annoying grey.