What Should I Do About Comments?

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For the first time in 261 posts I’ve written, and 849 Comments left on those posts, I just received 2 Comments that were hurtful and purely negative. I guess I should’ve expected it, because the exchanges on the message boards about this very derisive topic (Kristina Contes/HOF Gate) have gotten pretty heated. I guess I just hoped people would have more class when they’re leaving a Comment that will remain forever, and for all to see with, in some cases, their real name attached. I’m confused…at first, I left the Comment in place, then I deleted it but mentioned in the post itself that I’d had to delete a comment, then I deleted the explanation. I dreaded to look this morning, and yes, she commented again. So I’ll leave it there for now, but if it perpetuates more rudeness then it will go. This blog has been a 100% positive experience for an entire year and now that is ruined. I don’t need negativity like that in my life, but I’m all for intelligent, substantiated discussion. I know that other blogs routinely delete Comments, but I had hoped to never do that. I have no problem when people disagree with my opinion ~ that’s what America is all about, and I love it ~ and it has happened here before. But am I required to tolerate meanness in the name of free speech? Feel free to add your thoughts below :)

Edited 1/14/08 to add: Hi Mandy, Pam, Derby, Erica, bluemoon, Cheeky, Gigi, Sandra and Tina! Thank you so much for your helpful comments, advice, words of wisdom. It really means a lot that you would take the time to share your thoughts. I guess the gist of it is: You can say what you want here, but be respectful. And if I’m going to talk about controversial topics, I can expect controversial responders sometimes! That’s ok. Like I’ve said, go ahead and debate it with me – ~ LOVE it! Makes life more interesting. But, like the feeling I get from Derby and Tina, it’s so easy to be hurtful and not realize the impact you’re having on others when you speak from anger. Since lina hasn’t responded again, I’m not sure what I said that made her so angry, but I’m wondering if some of my constantly present sarcasm was read the wrong way? You know, it could’ve sounded like I thought all scrapbookers ARE the famous “dowdy, ” snowflake stencil using kind. But as you know, my tongue was firmly in cheek with those comments…because I know that we are NOT that stereotype. If she was pissed cuz I was picking on Kristina, again, lotsa sarcasm there. I disagree with KC’s actions, but think she’s a great scrapbooker, and certainly don’t HATE her. To the contrary, I’ve said a few times that I feel for her in having to deal with the meanies (believe me, a whole heck of a lot worse has been said to that poor girl than, “Pick up your Legos and go home.” Words that start with C and end with T, for example, and harsh criticisms of her scrapbooking style). Thanks again ladies, and if anyone else wants to weigh in, I’d love to hear it! This is a big learning experience for me :)

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11 Comments on What Should I Do About Comments?

  1. Mandy
    January 13, 2008 at 12:21 pm (7 years ago)

    Hi there! I have read and enjoyed your blog for several months now, but I have never commented before today. I just wanted to give you my two cents on the comment issue. I don’t feel that you should have to tolerate “meanness”. I view my blog as sort of an extension of my home. I love for people to drop by and “visit” but I expect some common courtesy from you during your visit. If you feel the need to disagree, that is fine, but please do so in a constructive fashion. :)

    Reply
  2. PamN
    January 13, 2008 at 3:02 pm (7 years ago)

    Don’t let it upset you too much – such is the world of blogging. People recognize certain types of comments for what they are, don’t worry. My rule? Delete it if it bothers you for more than two hours!

    Reply
  3. iamderby
    January 13, 2008 at 3:35 pm (7 years ago)

    I would just ignore it and move on. But if it really bugs you I dont see a problem with deleting it, it is your blog after all. I thought that whole article was really slanted anyway, a very biased piece of journalism

    Reply
  4. Erica Hettwer
    January 13, 2008 at 5:03 pm (7 years ago)

    Your blog, your rules. She can play nice with the others, or she can take her ball and go home. If she’s the kind of person who can only comment rudely, then we aren’t missing much by you deleting her comments.

    To Lina: She is not perpetuating hatred. If anything, she is making sure that people don’t hear just one side of the story. Besides, she dared you to comment on why we as a community are so fascinated by this scandal not what you think about her for discussing it.

    Reply
  5. bluemoon
    January 14, 2008 at 6:58 am (7 years ago)

    Sorry, I have no idea on what the subject is. Rudeness is one thing, and opinions or another point of view are another. Sometimes it is good to get views from other sides of the coins. It’s your blog, you need to decide what is best for you.

    I could not find a way to email you , I was curious to see if you had picked out any of the names we all left earlier?

    Thanks, have a good day, tc…
    p.s. I cannot see all my typing due to the column at the right is overbearing this typing space.????

    Reply
  6. Cheeky
    January 14, 2008 at 6:59 am (7 years ago)

    Anyone being negative and hurtful has issues of their own that go beyond you. That being said, YES I believe in free speech and you can say what you want, how you want, when you want, but I don’t have to be the place (blog) to display it! (and neither do you). The only comments I have deleted are those that are pure spam. I have been lucky that way – but it doesn’t mean that when the time comes I won’t delete a negative and hurtful comment if needed.

    Chin up honey, you know you are the better person.

    Reply
  7. Gigi
    January 14, 2008 at 8:05 am (7 years ago)

    It’s fine to express opinions in a constructive way, but it’s not OK to be rude or mean. You have every right to remove comments that bother you. It’s your blog!

    Reply
  8. Sandra @ The Memory Workshop
    January 14, 2008 at 8:50 am (7 years ago)

    Sometimes we get caught up in the delivery, and completely miss the message. Try looking past the rudeness and immature language to see if there is A POINT to what the poster is saying. If they are just really bad at making a good point, leave the post. (or edit the crap to make the point more obvious) If they are being mean for the sake of being mean, and have nothing of value to contribute – delete it.

    Apparently, this hobby requires a thick skin. @@

    And from another perspective…if you’re going to bring up topics that make people crazy, beware of crazy people.

    Reply
  9. Tina C
    January 14, 2008 at 10:25 am (7 years ago)

    This is the first time I visited your blog…but today seemed so fitting. I last night sent a respectful but stern email to a person who had hurt my feelings, my two daughters feeling…I spent a great amount of time trying to be so respectful. Instead I got insulted slammed run down. Pure meanness. All day it has weighed on me until I realized that some people have mean soles and that is not to be owned by me. So do not own others hate.

    Reply
  10. CKReader
    January 16, 2008 at 12:23 pm (7 years ago)

    I agree with the rest…It’s your blog…say what you want. Freedom of speech and all that. If you’re open to comments than people will leave them….but that doesn’t mean you have to keep them around if they’re hurtful and rude. They can get their own blogs to do that…..just delete them and move on….don’t dignify them with acknowledgement.

    Keep it up. I *like* your sarcasm!

    Reply
  11. Joyce
    January 23, 2008 at 2:59 pm (7 years ago)

    Hello ~Ericka~, thought i’d better come see if i was picked as the winner…nope! A sorta sad yiPPIE into a full blown YIPPIE for whats her name (I don’t want to spell it wrong -I mean i just got done reading the post about it after all!!). DANA, Daina…go figure!!!
    Hey, I use stencils ALL the time and yes I’d be considered a dowdy dresser (how’s that for sorta answering questions), now that i misplaced what I was going to say!!!,!!!

    Reply

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